In the past couple weeks, I’ve had conversations with several friends, moms of tweens/teens, on the topic of purging. We talked about the joy of getting rid of the junk in the house that we’ve been hanging on to because we thought we might need it again or just haven’t had time to get evaluate whether it should be in the house in the first place. We shared our stories with shining eyes and excitement as we reveled in the wide-open spaces we created in our homes and the weight that was lifted by getting rid of stuff we really didn’t need anymore.
Asking the Questions is Easy…Answering them is the Hard Part
All three of us employed some version of Marie Kondo’s philosophy which encourages us to ask whether that thing you’ve been hanging on to brings you joy. Working our way through the physical stuff we were keeping in case we needed it later, we asked that question along with the other logical ones…
- Will I ever use ______ again?
- Do I really need more than 1 of ________?
- Has my family grown out of _____?
As I reflected on these conversations, I realized it’s hard, time-consuming work, going through your stuff. I find it’s not just physically taxing, it’s emotional work too. In many ways, our stuff can become a part of the person we think we are or aspire to be…I am prepared (to put a bunch of leftovers in mismatched tupperware). I have all I need to throw a great party (what defines great?). I grind my coffee beans because I make time for fresh ground coffee in the morning (not true). I am well-read (reasonably, even though I haven’t read everything on my bookcase). I am [fill in the blank].
Our physical “stuff” represents us in so many ways – who we were, who we are now and who we aspire to be in the future. Of course, we all know our stuff doesn’t define who we are, it’s our behavior, beliefs, values and how we spend our time that make us who we are. But, sometime we forget this truth or take the easy route and focus on external stuff. And, maybe if we have too much stuff in our closets, basements and garages it hangs over us like a cloud and gets in the way of being all we want to be and where we want to focus and spend our time. Maybe it’s a protective coating of sorts, because going through the stuff is work we don’t feel like doing because feeling a certain way is something we are avoiding. Or maybe we’re just plain too tired to go through our stuff because we’ve been too busy working, parenting, spousing, friending, living, etc.
But, wow! It feels so good to let stuff go. To make room. Not for more stuff. Just room. In that open space I discovered a few things I’d forgotten I owned. I re-discovered things I wasn’t using, that I could use. The open space shined a light on things that had gotten lost in the clutter.
Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful. William Morris
And, now I find I am working on not filling it back in with new stuff. New stuff is fun and lights up our brain in exciting ways. In this short time, I have found that since I don’t have the weight of the stuff hanging over me, I can focus on activities and other things that bring me joy. It feels slightly uncomfortable…that new space that wasn’t there before. But, I am making a conscious effort to not add stuff back in. I want to get rid of more stuff (the boys’ room drives me bonkers – that’s a whole other post waiting to be written) and free up more space.
Time will tell how successful I am – it’s going to be a busy first quarter, but I am hopeful my conscious focus on getting rid of that which is no longer of use and not filling the space with more stuff will be a part of my regular routine. Physical, emotional…hanging onto stuff that doesn’t serve a healthy, positive purpose is not doing anyone any good. This I know and intend to keep top of mind.
What about you? Have you been or do you intend to be in purge mode? What works for you? What motivates you to purge and keep the spaces wide open once you have cleared it? Share your thoughts below. Help us all grow through your experience.
the Growth Collective 