After 10 years of living with early-onset Parkinson’s Disease, my mom, Alice Louise Morgan, left her earthly body on August 10, 2003, and fully embraced the angel she’d long wrestled with inside. We weren’t expecting it. The years prior had been hellish in many ways as she struggled to live with a life altering condition and navigate a personality disorder that showed up sometime after the PD diagnosis. So, needless to say, the last 10 years of my mom’s life were challenging in many ways. Ebbing and flowing through hope following a new treatment, medicine or breakthrough while the deep sloppy psych side messed with everyone involved.
As Mother’s Day neared and friends asked about plans for the day, I found myself reflecting beyond the final chapter of mom’s life and the bigger picture of the unique woman who held the title of My Mom. The 20-ish years prior to her illness also had a lasting impact for which I am deeply grateful.
Mom was nurse, a good one. Her last years working were as a hospice nurse. Death is an extraordinarily difficult topic for many people and Alice, with grace and care, was able to be there in a hard space and time for people who needed an angel by their side.
She knew what she was good at and pursued her passion, adding a BSN to her credentials while we were in high school. She loved houseplants, reading, going to Higgins Lake, and outdoor activities.
She was an empowering parent who was engaged enough to draw boundaries that were open enough to let us fly. She encouraged us to have a good relationship with our father despite her own challenges to do so herself. She fed us healthy food and made sure we had life skills like knowing how to swim, because she didn’t want us to grow up with fear of the water the way she did.
Among all the adult maturity a child lived, too. Being forced to step up and adult at young age, as one of 5 kids of an alcoholic father and losing her own mother when she was 18, she balanced between play and responsibility on many adult days.
I could write for days in an attempt to describe the beauty and complexity of my mother. Someday, I probably will. For today, in honor of Mother’s Day I dug in a bit to capture a few of the mother memories that stand out for me.
Nature…nurture…those who know me may have read these descriptions picking up on pieces of me. My mom was passionate about a helping others, in touch with something so much bigger than earthly living and serious adulting, and open to growth and new experiences.
So much of her living opened me up to how I live today. I watched and learned and unconsciously added her to me. Beyond the DNA that binds. The body may be gone, but she’s here in me everyday.
Peace to all this Mother’s Day, a day that’s full of memories and mixed feelings for many. If that’s you or someone you know, check out the resources the team at OptionB put together to help those who don’t feel awesome on Mother’s Day.
the Growth Collective 