Tag: change

Do Love = The Antidote

Susan Morgan Bailey

The bumper sticker read “Resist Hate”

Driving along, I absorbed the statement. Initially I agreed, it was a sentiment I could get behind along with many others who are feeling sick about the divisiveness and animosity in the air these days.   But then, I felt anxiety building up inside me. To resist means to withstand the action or effect of something. In this case, hate, a word that means to feel intense or passionate dislike. Just as quickly as the initial message hit me, the negativity of the message dissipated the positive intent.


Why did this happen?

As a health and wellbeing coach, I have long studied and coached others on the power of the mind to influence our behavior. We have all heard the phrase, “what you focus on grows”. At a basic physiological level, the more we repeat our thoughts and actions, the more neural connections are formed in our brain to strengthen our beliefs and habits. Every time we do something, we reinforce the behavior or thought. Stop doing something and the action, habit or thought is likely to disappear over time (use it or lose it!).

Beyond this, the brain does not always process the modifying verb (i.e. – resist or don’t) and will focus on the main action. A statement like “I won’t eat all the cookies” might settle in the mind as “eat the cookies!” subconsciously making it more difficult to resist eating the darn cookies. In the case of the bumper sticker, my mind voice heard hate and the body responded accordingly – agitation and reminders of the reasons behind creation of the bumper sticker.

Two negatives do not equal a positive. The brain reads and processes the action at a subconscious level without interpretation. Two negative words evoke negativity at all levels. Alternatively, focusing on positive messages is a better path toward positive outcomes.

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An antidote is born

And that is how Do Love was born. Two positives can create more positivity.

Action + positive action = positive response.
An empowering statement. A positive statement.
A statement focused wholly on what we need more of – love toward one another.
An idea that also reminds us to love and have compassion for ourselves too.
Want to spread the message with me? I got so excited about this idea I created a sticker (and t-shirt, mug, and more) of my own!  You can buy them here if you like.
Do love, my friends. Do love. doheartlove

New Beginnings

Susan Morgan Bailey

I recently learned of a Roman God named Janus – the God of New Beginnings.  He is usually depicted as having two faces, since he looks to the future and to the past.  Whether or not you believe in setting New Year’s resolutions, taking time to look back and forward is a practice worth undertaking year-round.   Grab a pen and paper or a notebook and take a few minutes to exercise your inner Janus.jake-weirick-272559

Life can only be understood backwards;
but it must be lived forwards.
Soren Kierkegaard

Hindsight is 20/20: Tools for Reflection

After Action Review

We learn through reflection and taking time out to consider what worked, what didn’t work, why, how could it be better next time? Reflection pulls us out of automatic mode and encourages conscious engagement moving forward.  The After Action Review is a tried and true method for quick review and prep for moving forward positively.

Gratitude Capture

What are you grateful for?  Nothing too small… List 10 or more things. No right or wrong answers. Each year I do this between my birthday (Dec 25) and the New Year.   Gratefully, I had much to be grateful about this past year!

Another option, consider the roles you played in the past year.  Friend, partner, parent…list out the roles you played and reflect on one reason you are happy to have had the opportunity to play that role in 2017.

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes: Set Intentions

What do you want for your life this year?   Knowing there are only 24 hours in a day, consider how you like to spend those 1,440 minutes.

Again, reflect on your roles and consider what success looks like in each area.  Write down each role and an action statement or three that reflects how you’ll bring that success to life.  For example, one of my roles for 2018 is to parent my 12 and 13-year-old boys and one of my actions is giving them focused attention daily.   Might seem simple, but for someone who moves a thousand miles an hour, focusing my attention on individual loves of mine is something I want to practice more in 2018.

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I am student of behavior and could go very deep into what it takes to create and stick with habits.   That said, I’ll keep it brief, because the New Year has already begun and I like you I am ready to roll.

Change happens when we stay focused on what we are wanting.  Keep your intentions front and center – hang them on your mirror, in your closet, somewhere where you’ll look at them daily. I had a little fun with colored markers and created a word collage of the wellbeing actions I’ll be focusing on in 2018. I will be posting somewhere where I’ll see it each morning before I head off for the day.

If Change Was Easy

Feel like you’ve been here before?  Worried you’ve got a long list of “to-do’s” that won’t get done?  Try one of these techniques…

We grow through what we go through.  Taking time to reflect on the experiences we’ve had and align our intentions moving forward is a time-tested way to get where we want to go. Where would the ship end up if the captain didn’t keep an eye on the horizon and check the compass periodically?

2018 has tremendous potential! Share this post if you found it helpful and share your thoughts in the comments below if you have other tricks you use to stay on track and Be Awesome!